Rambling Andrej

Where my inner world meets the outside world.

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Tag: Meaning

Searching for Meaning: Action over Indecision

Wanderer above the Sea of Fog
Wanderer above the Sea of Fog

The topic of meaning is becoming one of my favorites to write about. I guess that is reflective of my young, barely not-teen, age, by some characterized as the peak of the most forming years of one’s life, when the question of meaning looms over as an ever-present dread that refuses to offer a clear answer.

But as I talk and listen to more people, existential questions seem to loom over a person for the entirety of their life. Although not everyone ponders whether there is some grand meaning to their existence, almost universally, regardless of age, we ask, what should I do with this life? Have I chosen the right path?

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How to find the meaning of life in times of prosperity

The uniquely human condition of being able to reflect upon our role in this vast universe we find ourselves in is suffocating the psychological well-being of many individuals born into prosperity, into life without struggle. At least that’s what I see around me.

We live in unprecedented times of prosperity. We have achieved much of what the evolutionary will to survive propelled us to secure. In the western world, much of what we need or desire is so close, often not farther than at the tips of our fingers. 

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What I have learned from meditating for almost a year

My journey with meditation starts with my year abroad in the US. Living in a dorm thousands of kilometers away from family and friends, just about to turn sixteen in a completely different culture and environment, had its say on my stress levels. As I wrote in my thoughts on anxiety, I used to wake up every morning with my heart pounding, tied up stomach, and an underlying fear. Up until then, thankfully, I’ve never had such problems. My only point of reference was nervousness form before all the hockey games I had or from going home after I got a bad grade. 

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In search for meaning, part 2 – What we will do with all this future?

This is a continuation of some of my thoughts on the question of meaning I wrote about in the previous post, part one. However, this part was written first so the flow from one to the other could have been smoother, but I think you will be able to find the thread.

What to do with this life? I have been haunted by that question ever since I asked it.

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In search for meaning, part one – The virtue of action


The search for meaning is a seemingly never-ending journey. When you refuse to succumb to the readily available answers, to the low-hanging solutions, such as national identity or religion, the search takes on a foggier path. 

At first, you keep the unjustified expectation of something grand, something all-encompassing, something that is transparent, not translucent.

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Meaning of life, with or without God

A hand holding a compass in a forest.

The first time I considered the idea of a meaningful life without God was during my year abroad in the United States at the age of sixteen. It was a sunny mid-spring day and looking out of my dorm room window, over the balcony of our old wooden house, I was contemplating the consequences of God’s possible non-existence on the meaning of life. At the time, apart from God, I could only see an ultimately unsatisfying self-delusion. I saw the same infinite loop I was part of before I became a Christian, a loop from which I was able to break free only thanks to the contentment God brought to my heart. I saw the neverending pursuit of the next goal set forth by the mind, thought to bring the ultimate peace and to stop the ongoing search.

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Life Seen Bare – A Poem

This is a poem I have written over a year ago, while I was struggling with the ideas expressed in my Surfing Waves, Bearing Life essay, and put into a coherent form on July 11, 2018.  As I said at the end of the essay, I probably would have written a more optimistic and less Kierkegaardian essay had I done it now, however, it accurately encapsulates my state of mind at the time, as well as the whole essay in just 8/10 verses. Without further ado, here is the first serious poem of my life.

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Surfing Waves, Bearing Life

A man surfing.

I can not believe it took me almost a year and a half to finish this essay. It was a project dear to my heart and I knew someday I would take the time to finish it. Someday was not enough, so for the past week I have been working on this 3300-word monster and today I was finally able to finish it to a satisfactory level. Giving an introduction to the following text is not an easy task. What can I say upfront is to encourage you to finish it. The essay gains momentum as you go, however, it is not an essay read. Take your time with it.

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